Posts Tagged ‘Horror’

I had a conversation this morning with someone who had laser eye surgery at the weekend. It sounded horrific. And the poor girl looks like she’s been attacked by crows. No wonder she was wearing sunglasses indoors. In winter.

I’ve always wanted laser eye surgery. If I were to win the lottery (which I won’t because I don’t play it) then laser eye surgery would be the first thing I’d spend my money on.

I hate wearing glasses. I’ve had to wear them since a very young age and I’ve done nothing but resent them since. They’re rubbish in the rain because the raindrops on the lenses obscure my view. They’re rubbish in the heat because if I’m walking indoors from the outdoors then they steam up immediately and obscure my view. The lenses smear and get dirty and I find only certain materials are able to clean them effectively whereas the majority of materials just make it worse. I can’t play football in them because whenever I have done I get a ball in the face and the bloody things break. I can’t lie my head on a pillow and watch TV because the frames dig into my face and cause discomfort. And worst of all they make me look like a prat.

It’s okay for girls. Glasses tend to suit girls more often than not. In fact in a lot of cases I’d say glasses improve a girl’s look. It’s kind of sexy. And yet any guy that wears glasses looks like either a geek or a sex offender. Or both.

I practically refuse to wear my glasses in public. And yes, that’s purely vanity. I’m a single man in my early twenties and spectacles do nothing for me. I always go out wearing my contact lenses. Contact lenses that cost a fortune and don’t always keep my eyes in the best condition.

I could go for glasses with thicker frames as they appear to be more ((mum word alert!)) “trendy” but I still very much doubt anyone would ever see me wearing them outside of the house. Laser eye surgery is what I need.

I can’t deny that the horror story I was told this morning was a tiny bit off-putting. Cups on eyes, cutting, scraping, slicing, shouting… And you’re awake during the whole thing. I just about still want to have it done though. It’s either that or look like a geeky sex offender for the rest of my life.

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I feel that due to my love of horror films I should relish Halloween but I don’t. I can’t. It’s just another day with a pointless title given to it to make it feel like an occasion. I know in some places they go all-out to make it an occasion but I can’t for the life of me see why. It just seems as though people will find any excuse to dress-up. I hate dressing up and maybe that’s why I resent Halloween. I only ever went trick or treating once as a kid.

The plus side of Halloween in the past was the sheer quantity of horror films shown on telly in the night. There were loads of them and they were all classics. I briefly glanced at the TV schedule to see what’s on this year and all I could see was Halloween and The Others. Halloween certainly fits the bill and there are a lot worse films than The Others but that’s it. Where’s The Omen? The Exorcist? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? The Blair Witch Project? Don’t Look Now? Or even the sillyer scare-fests like Scream or Child’s Play? There’s practically nothing. The only thing that’s worth watching in the evening is Psychoville (and that’s not a film. It will be brilliant though).

I won’t get too upset about it. It’s one day in 365 and a lot people have a fun time so that’s good. I just can’t see any point to Halloween besides an excuse to broadcast the greatest horror movies all night and if they’re not doing that anymore then it all seems a bit redundant.

Oh well, Happy Halloween to you.