Cartoons, Paedophiles and Gullible Morons

Posted: 06/12/2010 in The Calculator
Tags: , , , , , ,

If you’ve been on Facebook recently then you’ll have noticed many people have changed their profile picture to that of a cartoon character. This is as a result of a viral campaign against violence towards children. The idea is that by having cartoon characters from our childhood as our profile picture we will see nothing but an invasion of wonderful memories until 6th December. It’s a lovely idea.

Over time the campaign has been associated with the NSPCC who have stated that they had nothing to do with starting the viral but are appreciative of the recognition it has generated for their work against violence towards children.

It’s actually been quite nice to log in to the social network site and see the various pictures of cartoon faces from the past. Upon seeing Bananaman, for example, on someone’s profile it’s difficult not to have a nostalgic smile smeared across your face. It’s a good idea even without the reasoning behind it. Who wouldn’t rather see a picture of Thomas the Tank Engine instead of the ugly mug that usually occupies that square space? I think everyone should do it permanently and just change which character they display on a weekly basis. Anyway, like most nice things in the world, some thick, stupid morons had to try and ruin it…

“ATTENTION: The group asking everyone to change their profile picture to their favourite cartoon character is actually a group of paedophiles. They’re doing it because kids will accept their friend requests faster if they see a cartoon picture. It has nothing to do with supporting child violence. IT’S ON TONIGHT’S NEWS! Copy and paste this to your status! Let everyone know !”

So paedophiles are forming groups now. I know if I was a paedophile then I’d definitely share that information with other people in the hope that they too would be a paedophile and we could go about setting up a group exclusively for paedophiles. We could then place a piece in the local paper advertising the fact that we’re recruiting paedophiles. We could arrange school trips that would have a completely different inclination to the school trips you go on when you’re at school. Ultimately we’d want to set up a worldwide internet campaign to get people to display cartoon characters as their profile picture so that children will accept our friend requests faster. Oh wait, that doesn’t even make sense. If the theory of having a cartoon character as a profile picture really will entice children to accept our friend requests faster then why would we need the rest of the world to do it too? Surely it would be a tad more inconspicuous if we just kept that theory amongst ourselves.

Incredible, isn’t it? There are so many flaws there that it’s amazing that anyone can think for even a second that it’s true. Even if you read it on someone’s status would you not feel inclined to find out more about it? What news programme was it supposed to have been on? The people who posted this drivel as their Facebook status obviously don’t watch the news.

As true as this all obviously isn’t, I had a lengthy argument with someone who is adamant that it’s distinctly possible. I was desperately trying to appeal to her common sense but she was having none of it. None of the points I made were going to change her mind. That’s when it dawned on me that this was an argument I was never going to win because you can’t win an argument with a stupid person. The situation reminded me of a sketch from ‘Jam’, the Channel 4 sketch show written by Christopher Morris (who coincidentally also wrote the Brass Eye paedophilia special which is another thing that continuously comes to mind when analysing this farce).

The gullibility and stupidity of some people is truly astounding. Especially when it comes to things posted on the internet. I myself am considering making up my own barefaced lie and posting in on Facebook with a “copy and paste this status if you.. blah, blah, blah” line at the end. It wouldn’t even have to be credible for people to believe it and spread the word. All I need to do is include a word that evokes some sort of emotion in (stupid) people even if they don’t understand the context. Something like ‘cancer’ or ‘war’ or ‘dead children’. I would use ‘paedophile’ but that wouldn’t feel wholly original right now.

For the time being just put a fucking kids character as your profile picture and smile about it.


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